Making a Thesis Evolve

Several things stood out to me while reading this chapter. The first was that the thesis should not be obvious. The thesis is something that should be arguable and it is the author’s job to argue their point in the paper. Secondly, the thesis is where a problem is detected and the author must find evidence to support where he/she stands on the problem and how it should be resolved. Finally the thesis is the glue that holds the paper. Everything should relate back to the thesis, but it should also develop has the paper moves along.

Unlike the draft at the end of the paper my writing usually has a thesis that is very obvious and I find evidence to support that claim. There is just one main thesis, not several. Our writings are similar in the fact that my thesis usually does not develop as the paper moves along, but is simply restated and that I leave a lot of undeveloped observations. .

One thing I found interesting was that it suggested using the word another instead of next or also. 

1983

The video that stuck out to me the most and had the strongest message was “Love is a Battlefield”.  She leaves her house, not to return and takes up prostitution as a way of life. One thing I found especially interesting though was that it showed her still communicating with her brother, which shows that she still cared about her family or at least part of it even though she had taken on this new life for herself.  It shows how people are willing to do anything to get to where they want to be.

In my video “Just a Dream” by Carrie Underwood there is a longing for part of the American dream. It starts off by the bride talking to her date in a red convertible and then transitions to her in her wedding dress and eventually to her military groom standing at the end of the aisle.  It also addresses the actualities of war. Her groom is killed during the war and the wedding turns into the funeral and the white present changes to black. War represents the end of life for this man. 

Thinking about the other videos helped because they focused on specific points during the video such as the egg breaking against the heart versus the video in its entirely. It makes the paper seem more manageable. 

Television

It is rare that I watch television especially since coming to college. In fact, I went the first month with out a television set. For this writing I decided to turn on the television. One of my favorite shows, Storage Wars, happened to be on. It is the story of several people in California that go to storage auctions and buy units that have not been paid for. It is always a surprise as to what they get from the unit as they can only look at it from the outside for a could of minutes. My favorite part is the business side of it and the amount of money the cast makes after selling the items.

As I began to analyze it several things came to mind. The cast is a broad range of individuals. There is the old and the young, and the individuals verses the partners. That is so everyone can relate to one member of the cast.  It was really interesting analyzing the commercials. The show is for anyone in my opinion, but the commercials say different. There were advertisements for Disney vacations, Subway, Toyotas, Dr. Scholls, Depend for Women (diapers), Ricola, Reese's and hair care products. All these point to an audience of mature women. I do not get the connection between the show and the commercials. Although women can enjoy the show, I would not expect them to be the main fewer, but the advertisers feel different. It is interesting the hidden messages that the media send us.

Disney Subway toyota wart remover Dr. schools Depend for Women Ricola reese's hair products ensure

Barbie Dolls

I have long known that people are infatuated with Barbie, but I could have cared less. My mom is somewhat a collector of Barbie dolls. There are several still in their boxes in a chest upstairs that nobody every goes in. I have always wondered why my mom kept them. Realizing that those dolls could be worth a lot of money one day, I no longer have a problem with them just sitting in the chest.  I did not know that doll collecting is the second most popular collecting hobby in America. I figured at least coins would have been higher than dolls.

One of the most important parts of this essay was the story Judy shared about her son and how her Barbies and the Barbie family helped her move on from this tragic loss.  It is sad that her “friends” left her because they did not know what to say, yet people that she probably had never met before did so much for her. This story really grips you and makes you want to keep reading the essay as well as ties you in emotionally.

As a writer this essay will help because it shows that you can really write about anything. Not only write about anything, but also with some investigation you can see why people do what they do. I had no clue that there was such a larger group of people dedicated to the Barbie.  The personal stories for why each individual chose to be apart of the Barbie family are really interesting.  There is also more than what meets the eye. 

The Last Stop

A funeral home is a place that one wants to visit as little as possible. It is rare that you just show up to one with out a reason, but that is exactly what Brian Cable did his freshman year of college. He reports his observations in his essay entitled “ The Last Stop”. One of the assumptions that he had going into it is one that I have of funeral homes. Funeral homes are supposed to be a serene place where every little detail is taken care of. Comfort is suppose to be felt everywhere as the people that are there are usually mourning the loss of a love one. That is not what Cable described upon his visit. He said it was set in a business district and there was a large clock on top of the sign. The last thing I would be worried about if I lost a loved one would be the time.

I do think Cable described the mortuary properly. I never feel comfortable when I enter one. They are cold, dark and sterile. They should focus more on making people feel comfortable. This essay will help me because of the amount of detail that I in it. Cable described everything, but not to the point that it was over the top. 

The Death of the Moth Response

Virginia Woolf tells the tragic story of a moth that catches her attention as she is sitting at her desk. As a reader I can relate to sitting at my desk and looking out the window and having my attention taken away by some small insignificant part of nature. However, I never thought writing about it could some how relate to a person's life. The significance of this writing is how it mirrors the authors life. The moth at the beginning is full of life much like Ms. Woolf. As life goes on for the moth there is a fight for life, "what he could do he did", but "death is stronger". The author was going through a fight for life as she was writing this, but allowed death to be stronger than her and ultimately commited suicide.  I believe that the why for this writing was that it allowed Ms. Woolf to share what was going through her mind without it directly relating to her. The author does a very good job of describing the moth and its fight for life. The part that stands out to me was the line "death is stronger than I am". This shows that the fight is completely over and the moth and author have surrendered to death. It concludes the passage very strongly.